It's officially been 5 days since I've been back at college...and so far it's been meh. I mean it's good to have my autonomy, the city and its vibrancy, and some sort of routine back in my life. Even catching up with Heebin and Oliver (the two friends mentioned in my earlier post...and also obviously fake names) has been really fun! Not to mention, Blizzard Juno gave me a snow day on Tuesday, which was hella relaxing. But...I still feel kinda lonely. I have been trying to be more active and getting to know other people in my classes better, but nothing is really advancing further than small talk. And I guess I have to be more patient (since it has been only five days) but ugh why can't I just skip to the madly-in-love-with-my-life-with-a-lot-of-friends phase? I'm not turning into Shinji, I swear, but I am a little disgruntled. Especially since it seems like everyone else is having so much fun. Even my roommate, Anna, who spent most of her time in our room last semester is out and about with her friends. And then all these other thoughts keep swarming in my head: What if I can't find someone to room with for next year? What if I'll be alone/not having fun on Friday nights? What if I won't find someone to even crush on because I don't know anyone? Bah whatever. I just have to focus on the good things that have happened (aka having Heebin/Patrick, having chill roommates, buying Amoeba Culture concert tickets, getting a good education, being proud of my instagram, etc.) and have faith that more good things will happen in the near future. Besides, I'm going to meet my sisters today! It should be fun hanging with them since it's been a while. Fingers crossed that shit works out. P.S. I'm also thinking about using this space to blog about all the foods I eat in NYC/the places I see! It'll help me feel as if I'm not an angsty teenager 25/8. |
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PALLAVI19 year old weeb trying to figure shit out @p.allavi
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August 2015
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